Greetings, friends! I's yo kindly civil rights activist friend, MLK!

Generally in de historical past, dis message board have gone through what we in de bizness refer to as "slumps". Wit' de recently announced departah of a soitan well-respected vet'ran, dere now be de daynjah of dis message board falling into PERMANENT DECRINE!

Cleahly, we must use dis oppo'tunity to take it upon ahselves and make sho' dis don't happen! Currently, I is hoping to gain HIGH-LEVEL GUBNINT COROBBERATIUM in makin' sho' dis site don't fall by de wayside. Howevah, I's been havin' difficulty on account o' mah HAY'CHEN EXTRAKMENT!

Cleahly, dese all be symptoms of a lah'jah plot, de details of which I'm unable to reveal at de moment. Howevah, I advise y'all to keep yo' eyes peeled fo' anything suspishmous! Especially dat sick white fagnit wit's de frosted hair, who, presumnably, at dis very moment, be drinkin' Jack Daniels 'n puttin' de hurts on dat stupid-looking canine companium of his.

I shall retoin.

Peace Out