WC: "Westminster Council. Can I help you?"
DB: "Yes I've got something slightly unfortunate to report today."
WC: "What is it Sir? Who do you want to speak to?"
DB: "I want the department that deals with parking tickets."
WC: "Parking tickets. Do you have a pen there Sir?"
DB: "Yes I have and it's in my hand."
WC: "Right. I'm going to give you a direct line number to ring."
DB: "That's very nice. I suppose when I ring the other person at the end will tell me all about my parking ticket queries."
WC: "Yes Sir."
DB: "And on my windscreen the fella's put a big sticker on."
WC: "If you keep calm and let me give you the number."
DB: "Thank you very much, you've really sorted me out."
DB: "Because I hope the man comes soon 'cos I've done my shopping and I have lots of frozen Findus Crispy Pancakes in the back."
DB: "My Ford Capri is blue and there's nothing I can do."