Shiruetto ya kage ga kakumei o miteiru. Mo tengoku no giyu no kaidan wa nai. Ore genjitsu kara shime dasare. Nani ga okkote irunoka wakara nai. Doko ni kyokun wa arunoka. Hitobito wa yubi o orareteiru. Konna dokusaisha ni iyashime rareru nowa kanashii. Nammin no kiroku eiga. Hyoteki o se ni shita koibito tachi. Michi ni ishi o nage reba. Kona gona ni kudake. Kino ni huta o sureba. Kyohu wa masu. Ore no atama ni tama o buchi kome ba. Shinbun wa kaki tateru
It's No Game Part I
She lies in bed. Blue room. Big house in Wyomissing Heights. Everyone's dad is a lawyer or doctor. She looks at her wall to see silhouettes and shadows, and it bores her. She turns on Tv to watch the revolution. She's the only one to understand that you can't buy more free steps to heaven, but the only one to misunderstand that life is no game.
She had a name; it was Cindy. Her father a lawyer and her mom a housewife. Devoted Christians they were and everybody's best friends. Could Cindy stand this? Of course not! She wanted to be The Jean Genie, a wild city gal, and a without care. Hunger City was a few miles away. She'd never been there alone, but she'd heard stories and read documentaries on refugees, couples against the target, people that throw a rock against the road and watch it break into pieces, teens her age that draw the blinds on yesterday and make it all so much scarier, and lovers that put a bullet in their brain just to make all the papers.
She threw a month old Teen magazine across her room. She looked at all her stuffed bears. She looked in the mirror and saw a sixteen year old virgin wearing Cover Girl camouflage on a face hidden behind long clean golden hair. What she saw was a monster.
She thought aloud, "I am bored from the events of my life and I really don't understand my situation here. And I don't understand why they say 'it's no game'!
That day was when all the trouble started. Sure, there's always a tomorrow for people that have their fingers broken regularly, but she could never handle the city. It was in her mind now that she could. She would escape and have a day of summer fun. She could not stand her life as a rich beauty living in a high class world and being insulted by the fascists, it was so degrading to her.
She heard voices in her sleep that night, "And it's no game".
She awoke in sweat a yelled, "Shutup! Shutu..."
Track two: Up the Hill Backwards
Her sweet mother was by her side as she awoke again. "I thought I heard you howler. Is everything all right, honey?", Mother whispered into her ear.
Mother's morning breath was horrid. "No no, I'll be fine. No, just go.", Cindy grunted. Her mother was insulted, but kept it to herself. "Come now sleepy head, it's time for church."
The reverend was more stern than usual today. He had an omen, and was expressing it to it's fullest, "This vacuum that sucks the young children into drugs, sexual experiences, and money was created by the arrival of freedom, and the possibilities they seem to offer. But understand, youths, it's got nothing to do with you if one can grasp it. It's got nothing to do with you if one can grasp it!", it was his repetition that killed Cindy. Everything had to be said twice, or even more. He continued, "The Tv, alone, gives a series of shocks that makes even their sneakers fall apart. And in this evil, the earth keeps on rolling and the witnesses keep on falling. Yes, It's us, the good willed tax paying God graced citizens that are suffering for this. You just have to say to yourself 'it's got nothing to do with you if one can grasp it.' All you have to do is take grasp on your problems and turn them right side up."
The entire room of heaven bound defense attorneys sang, "It's got nothing to do with us if we can grasp it!"
He raise his frail arms in the air and melodiously returned, "Yea Yea Yea. Up the hill backwards and it'll be all right. Ooo-ooo!"
Her father stood up to make an announcement to add to the service, "While they sleep, we go to work. This welfare thing! We're legally crippled from our own money."
"It's the death of love!", a friend of his yelled aloud.
Her father sung, "It's got nothing to do with you if one can grasp it."
Cindy's friend, who sat next to her stood up and sung in her perfectly bought voice, "It's got nothing to do with you if one can grasp it!"
She sat back down and Cindy turned to her, "Don't you see how this house of holy worship has become a complaint box for the greedy. Shouldn't we be preaching sharing with poorer. Their more idols than realities in here. I mean, I'm O.K. and you're so-so. So why don't you leave here with me, just for a night or so. Let's say, tonight around 6:30."
It was hard for her to talk over the, "It's got nothing to do with you if one can grasp it." Melody that hovered over her every word. Cindy waited for a response from her, but her friend was in the hypnotizing trance singing, "Yea Yea Yea. Up the hill backwards and it'll be all right. Ooo-ooo!"
Well, Cindy knew she was on her own, but that would make it twice as fun. She didn't want to bring along any of her preppy friends anyway. This was about making new friends.
Track three: Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)
She had a horror of rooms she was tired. He could see that. He knew people couldn't hide beat. She was almost sleep walking, but where had she come from? Walking through Hunger City this late at night. Her clothes were worth more than all lives on that street combined. He walked up to her, and when he looked in her eyes they were blue, but nobody home. She was a ditz from Wyomissing Heights. He walked closer to get a better look. He thought she could've been a killer if she didn't walk the way she did. What he never knew was that she'd open strange doors that he'd never close again.
A man across the street was doing some prostitute. Cindy began to wail jealousies scream. That was dirty like she wanted it. She was waiting at the light, know what I mean?
The man saw this and understood that this girl was a runaway. He ran over to her and put out his hand. Cindy disregarded the whore, and looked at his hand. "My name is David, come on, I'll show ya 'round.", he offered. She looked at him and freaked out. She was too nervous to the situation. She didn't know what to say. He put his arm around her and said gently, "Come on, don't worry these scary monsters super creeps keep me running scared, too."
She thought of running, but she couldn't. She felt attracted to this dangerous situation. Then the rain set in. Heaven's tears poured all over the city. He, being very gentlemen-like, rushed her to a motel room. He stood at the door number 5, and looked around. The coast was clear; he picked the lock and walked right in with her ducking under his old coat. He offered, "Would you like to spend the night here, with me?"
She thought to her in happy excitement, "Wow! He asked me to stay and He stole me room! How dirtily romantic!"
With that she asked for his love and he gave her a dangerous mind. They climbed into the worn bed together, and she prepared for her transformation to her new life. David was in heaven; he only dreamed of this happening with such a beauty.
She awoke the next morning to the motel owner busting in. He was waving a gun and shooing them out. But to her surprise David was gone. She ran out bursting into tears. She was alone. She was stupid in the street and she couldn't socialize.
She saw David running toward her. "Did they kick you out of the motel?"
She wailed at him, "You left me!"
He put his arm around her, "I'm sorry, I had to check in with an old friend. But I love you, little girl, and I'll love you till the day you die. Ya see, my friend Jimmy's guitar sounds like jealousies scream. He's single and waiting at the light, know what I mean?"
"Yeah well So what do we do now?"
"Jimmy, you and I are going to go see the Scary monster and super creep
that keeps us running, running scared."
Track four: Ashes to Ashes
They walked for five minutes to a rundown warehouse. Cindy was very curious at that point. She asked who they had to visit. David looked at her, "Do you remember a guy that's been in such an early song?"
"Oh no, but you don't mean I've heard a rumour from Ground Control, but Oh no, don't say it's true." She muttered in fear.
"Yes, They got a message from the Action Man: 'I'm happy, hope you're happy too. I've loved all that needed love.' Sordid details followed."
"I always thought the major had died."
"Well, he's not living, at least not living the good life that he deserves."
They reached a door in the back of the warehouse. David knocked on the door three times, paused, and knocked twice more. David stood up right and strong. His hair was dark black and knotted. He wore a red plad wool shirt under a light blue winter vest. It looked as if he hadn't changed clothes much. His face was covered in stubble and a few scars, some of them open. Jimmy was no clone of his, he was a sidekick. He stayed close to David and seemed to limp on one leg. His had long dirty blonde hair. He hunched over all of the time. He wore an old brown trench coat. Cindy felt outcasted in her Tommy jeans and bright red shirt, she had to change.
A small board opened in the centre of the door, it was like a speak easy. The eyes that appeared where brown. David spoke in a low gruff voice, "Ashes to ashes, funk to funky. We know Major Tom's a junkie. Hung out in heaven's high. He's hitting an all-time low."
They walked inside; David walked right over to a corner where Major Tom sat. He sat with his legs crossed on a large blanket. The blanket was covered with all sorts of drugs, needles, spoons, lighters, pipes, and a silver box. David pulled out a roll of money and dropped it into the box. Major Tom spoke, "Ah. Arg Cash! Davy I love ya man. Well, what shall you like to order today."
David laughed, "Ah, what's up for breakfast today Tommy ol' boy."
Tommy laughed and responded, his British accent was natural and so beautiful that it filled the rat infested room with a cheery feeling, "No specials today, lover boy. Want your regulars?"
"Na Klar. And at our usual table, sir, with a view of the mountains, haha." David was trying his best to fake a Brit voice, but it sounded more Scottish.
Jimmy walked over and the three began to 'shoot up'. Jimmy turned to Cindy realizing that she'd never seen heroin before. He lifted up a pipe and said, "Here ya go. Ya can smoke this, it won't hurt ya, but don't get addicted to it." The three men burst out laughing. She took the marijuana pipe and a lighter. As she sat there hacking and trying to laugh, she noticed Major Tom was still cracking up at the joke. He suddenly stopped laughing and got serious.
He turned into monster. He was crying and yelling and spewing in a bucket. David and Jimmy lied together on the carpet in their peaceful high, but Tom flew around the room screaming. All the pot in the world couldn't have calmed down Cindy at that moment. Tom screamed in her face and then whispered to her, "The shrieking of nothing is killing me. Just pictures of Jap girls in synthesis. And I ain't got no money and I ain't got no hair" then he calmed down and looked peacefully out a window at the top of the wall, "But the planet is glowing."
Cindy didn't remember anything after that. The next thing she knew David was tapping her shoulder. That was when she realized how old he was. He had to be at least twenty-eight, but Jimmy was more like nineteen or twenty. Major Tom looked in this mid forties. She had illegal sex, did drugs, and ran away from home for almost two whole days now. She was proud of herself.
David talked to her to break the silence, "Time and again I tell myself 'I'll stay clean tonight.' But the little green wheels are following me. I say 'Oh no, not again.' Hey, but Hell, here I am, I'm stuck with a valuable friend.
I'm happy. I hope you're happy too. But sometimes I see one flash of light, but no smoking pistol."
Tom spoke, "Davy, don't depress yourself again. Look, you've got a life! I've never done good things. I've never done bad things. I've never did anything out of the blue." He started to look like he was about to flip again. "Sometimes I want an axe to break the ice." He screamed, "I want to come down right now!" He lifted both arms in the air a shook them. David and Jimmy pushed Cindy out the door. She asked, "Shouldn't we help him? He sounds angry."
"He'll be fine, he always is." David reassured her, "Hey, remember, ashes to ashes, funk to funky. We know Major Tom's a junkie. Hung out in heaven's high hitting an all-time low." He looked down like he was sad but Cindy broken the wall of emotion, "My mother said 'To get things done You'd better not mess with Major Tom.'"
Track five: Fashion
Night fell. They walked along the night streets. The neon signs and street lights lit up the sidewalks at night more than the sun in the day. David knew of a good disco to go to. It was a gay disco, but a lot of straights went there for the rock and drugs. Inside David and Jimmy were talking. Jimmy said, "There's a brand new dance, but I don't know its name. People from bad homes do it again and again. It's big and it's bland, full of tension and fear."
"Yeah. They do it over there, but we don't do it here. I can't remember that name."
A man dressed in a bright red glitter jacket stood on the stage and sung, "Fashion - Turn to the left. Fashion - Turn to the right. We are the goon squad and we're coming to town. Beep-Beep - Beep-Beep." He was foot stomping and clapping his arms.
Cindy brought back the conversation, "You two are crazy. Just let the music move you. Come on Jimmy." She was so free with the tune.
Jimmy saw this and took her by the shoulders. He was being serious. He looked into her eyes, "Listen kid, I'm sorry about this morning. You shouldn't have smoked that. Look, just listen to me, but don't listen to me.
Talk to me, but don't talk to me. Dance with me, but don't dance with me.
No." Then he grabbed her arms and swung her around and sung along, "Beep-Beep - Beep-Beep."
They did a little dance. She kissed Jimmy's cheek. David brought over three beers, and they sat down. "Jimmy, I spent the last of our dough on the shit and these beers. Will ya make a trip to the bank for me."
"Sure thang sir. Be right back."
Cindy asked about the back after he left, "What bank?"
David finished his drink, "Jimmy's a pick pocket. The victim is kinda like a bank."
"Yeah, I get it. That's cool." They nodded their heads. Cindy felt like they had been together for a lifetime. Life was great. David started up another pointless discussion, "There's a brand new talk, but it's not very clear. The people from good homes are talking this year."
"S'eah. Tell me about it. It's loud and it's tasteless. I've heard it before. Some shout it while they're dancing on the - er dance floor. Hey, what did Jimmy mean about that 'Listen to me, don't listen to me.
Talk to me, don't talk to me. Dance with me, don't dance with me.
"Yea, don't worry about him. Jim's got a little girlie crush on you. Haha." He burst out laughing, "Yeah. But he feels awful that you're from the rich section."
"Wha" She was at a loss for words. This insulted her and she didn't know why. He was right though, "Why did you have to say that." She began to tear up.
"Hey hey hey. I'm sorry, look, don't cry. I didn't mean it. All I was trying to say was, well, hey, ya wanna dance with me?"
She looked up, wiped away her tears, and started to groove her body, "Ooop bop - do do do do do do do do!"
"Fa fa fa fa - Fashion! Yeah!"
They moved to the floor and started to dance. The lights spun around. Everything seemed to move in waves. She was happy. She was excited. She was never going to look back. She was in love. She was in shock. Jimmy came running onto the dance floor and hid behind them. Dave and Cindy said together, "Jim, what the hell's wrong."
"Look, man, there was a cop right around the corner. The guy yelled he came running." Jimmy was panting and sweating. Sweat rained off of his forehead. He slowly fell to the ground and laid down. The police busted into the room, "There he is!"
Jimmy stood up and pushed David and Cindy away, "Fucking Pigs!" He pulled out a six shot revolver and unloaded two shots. The one shot hit a waitress in the shoulder. The police officer's shot hit Jimmy in the right collar bone. Jimmy jumped backward. As the police officer ran forward, David ran into him. The police officer fell on his back and got David in a bear hug.
Other police officers came in and handcuffed David, and when Cindy tried to fight them they handcuffed her, too. Jimmy was no where in site. He had ran out a side exit in the club. The police where out to catch him like a Thanksgiving Day turkey. The ride to the station seemed to last forever.
Track six: Teenage Wildlife
Cindy was directed to one office and David to another. She turned to see one final glimpse of him. His head hanging down like an old wet dog. His hair was messier than the day before. He might have been crying. Cindy was holding back tears at all cost, but she didn't know the worst of it yet. She was put in a seat and waited. Her leg was shaking profusely. The fear and tension grew by the moments. An officer walked in. He was so cool and casual. She hated him for it. She was no criminal.
He spun another chair around and sat in it backwards and leaned his elbows on the back rest, "How come you only want tomorrow? With it's promise of something hard to do?" He was trying to make her feel sorry about what she had done. He looked over her record; he knew about how she had ran away. All he was really doing was boring her with a 'Your Generation' speech. She answered, "A real life adventure is worth more than pieces of gold. Blue skies above and", she out stretched her arms, "sun on your arms strength in your stride."
"And there was hope in those squeaky clean eyes. Now you'll get chilly receptions everywhere you go."
"So I was blinded with desire."
"So now I guess the season of crime is on?"
She just gave him a sarcastic fed up look. Then the rain set in. She burst into tears. The more she forced herself to stop the more water flooded,
"So I'll train by shadow boxing, search for the truth."
The cop was fed up, "But it's all used up, isn't it? You'll break open your million dollar weapon and daddy will bail you out. He'll shower you in gifts to win back your little heart."
"But a heart that will never mend."
He was not even listening, he was stuck in his speech, "Still, afterwards you'll push your luck. A broken nosed mogul are you? Will ya date one of the new wave boys? Yea, I'll tell ya, it's the same old thing in brand new drag.
Does any of this come sweeping into your view?"
"I'm not as ugly as the teenage millionaire who is pretending it's a whizz kid world. I feel for the lesser."
"Yeah, and you'll take him aside, And say, 'David, what shall I do?'"
"They will wait for me in the hallway."
"I'll say, But don't ask me, for I don't know any hallways for him. He's going behind bars. Kids think they can just attack officers of the law." He shook his head in disgust and despair.
In the other office David sat with an officer who he was preaching too. David was speaking, "They say they will wait for you in the hallway, but Ha! I'll get there and find a note about how they don't know any hallways. Everybody turns on me, except for Jim and that girl, but you took that away from me. Oh god, the bad things in life, all the problems, they move in numbers and they've got me in a corner. I feel like a group of one. You can't do this to me. My life was on the mend. We were gonna be so happy together. You can't do this to me. I'm not some piece of teenage wildlife!"
The pig with him wasn't even listening, for he was reading David's file, and to his surprise it was almost spotless. David was hardly ever caught in the act. The officer looked up, "'Those midwives to history put on their bloody robes.'" He quoted and then continued, "The word is that the hunted one, Jimmy, is out there on his own. You're alone for maybe the last time."
David took a deep breath for a long time.
"Look, we know you do a lot of smack, but do ya sell, huh? Make some money off the kiddies?", Davy sat silent, "Won't talk now, but you'll howl like a wolf in a trap."
Cindy's officer looked at her deeply, "And you daren't look behind on this event ever? You fell to the ground like a leaf from the tree.", It took him a moment's pause to turn into a serious and scary monster, "One day you'll look up one time at that vast blue sky and forget about this speech. You'll run back to the city. Get some quick injection of both male and drugs, huh? You'll scream out aloud as they shoot you down!" He slammed his fist on the table. He was shouting.
Cindy looked up and stopped crying. She twisted around and threw her chair against the metal wall, "No no I'm not a piece of teenage wildlife! I'm not a piece of teenage wildlife!"
Another officer came in and escorted her out of the room. The first officer replaced the chair to it's original spot and looked out the door. He spoke to himself under his breath, "No one could have seen this coming and no one will confess to it. Fingerprints will prove that she couldn't pass the test." He shook his head again, "There'll be others on the line filing past her, all just like her. Who'll whisper low to her, 'he misses you, he had to go.'
Each punishment deserved by their own crime. Ugh, just another piece of teenage wildlife."
Track se7en: Scream Like a Baby
Well, Cindy was not about to buy the merchandise of phony lies, and she wouldn't fight no war. Her father stood in front of her silent. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't punish her with emotion, for he had none. He couldn't punish her with fists, for he never saw anyone else do it that way. She broke the silence after her mother was done smothering her with kisses and fake tears, "So I mixed with other colours, but the nurse don't care. I hid under blankets all those years. Or did I run away? Or did I run back home? I had to run to the city. And ya know what? I really can't remember last time I saw the light of day."
Her father was starting to get angry with her attitude, "You're just lucky that that Sam guy didn't dismember you. What did you think you where up to? What was going through your head, huh?"
Cindy had recently found out that David's real name was Sam. Sam David Jones. She had to defend him, "But I'll always remember Sam 'cause he was like me. He never screamed like a baby. Sam was a gun, but I never knew his last name until just now. I didn't need to"
Her father was outraged because she was embarrassing him. He raised his voice, "What are ya now? A whore? I I just can't believe what I'm hearing. You were just bored, so ya become a whore? Didn't we do enough for you? We fed you and clothed you and bought you want you wanted and gave you shelter and"
"And we never had no fun!", she couldn't stand this constant fighting.
"ya wanna be on the streets? On this planet they come down hard on the faggots, they come down hard on the street, and They'll come down harder on Sam. We all know he is just a beat! People like him throw us into the wagon,
and blindfold us in chains and stomp on us. He takes away our clothes and things. Tell me they didn't pump you full of strange drugs."
"No.", she felt the tears returning. She held them back, but the fighting was getting to her.
"Tell me! They talked to Sam, and let me tell you he talked back!"
"Listen, I saw Sam talking. Spitting in their eyes." She was tired of the fighting. The tears started coming out. She fell into her father's open arms. She returned the big hug, "But now I lay me down to sleep. But now I close my eyes, daddy. And now I'm learning to be a part of so uh so-ciet uh so-ciet-y." She didn't want to hug him, but she couldn't take the fighting.
She still felt the rage inside of her. She needed to be held by David, or maybe even Jimmy, if he was even alive still. But she still felt the excite of the street life. No athletic program, no discipline, no book could change her mind. She imagined David getting interrogated. He would have just sat in the back seat swearing he'd seek revenge. But then she pictured him jumping into the furnace, and singing old songs they'd loved, they'd danced to.
She wasn't going to scream like a baby, though. Sam was a gun, but she never needed to know his last name. She looked at her future, and saw herself back inside her blue room. Her father looked down at her and laughed, "we never had no fun." He was being sarcastic. He thought that all the problems were over and life would return to normal.
Track eight: When the Kingdom Comes
Well, David walked in the pouring rain. This was a whole week and a half later. He was doing, or actually serving his, community services. He walked along the muddy wet ditch by a highway. He was digging with the other criminals. They were digging the ditch deeper so a drainage pipe could be installed. After he heard a voice in his head that cries "It's all in vain.", the voice of doom was shining in his head. He mumbled quiet enough so that the guards couldn't hear him, "I just need one day somewhere far away. Lord I just need one day."
The pain got to him. He couldn't stand it. He yelled aloud, "Well I'll be breaking these rocks and cutting this hay Yes I'll be breaking these rocks.
What's my price to pay? Well the river's so muddy, but it may come clear.
And I know too well what's keeping me here 'cuz I'm just the slave of a burning ray. Oh give me the night, ' cuz I can't take another sight.
Please, please give me the night.
"Sun keeps beating down on me, and this wall's a mile high. Up in the tower they're watching me, hoping I'm gonna die. I won't be breaking no rocks. I said 'I won't be breaking no rocks' when the kingdom comes!"
A patrolling officer came over and hit him in the stomach with the butt of his gun.
Track nine: Because you're Young
Cindy thought she was alone in her garden watering flowers, as her mother ordered. She was kissing up to her parents a lot. She was being the child they wanted. She was startled as Jimmy popped his head out of a large bush, "Psychodelicate girl, come out to play."
She was stunned, but still responded, "Little metal faced boy, don't stay away."
"I've seen David. He's so war torn and resigned."
She started to cry. She couldn't take any more. Those few words killed her heart, "What are they trying to prove? What are they hoping to find?"
"Look, I've seen you two together. It's love back to front and no sides, like I say."
"But these pieces are broken, like I say", she put her hands over her heart, "these pieces are broken. Hope I'm wrong but I know"
"Your are right, I'm sorry. But, because you're young you'll meet a stranger some night. Everything will be okay, because you're young, and what could be nicer for you?"
"It makes me sad, so I'll dance my life away. A million dreams. A million scars"
"He got punished hard. Loving him is such a crime. Don't dace away with me. Stay here. You'll be fine. If you follow you'll end up like me, or even worse, him."
She took back everything she said about running away again. This left him nearly out of his mind. He thought she would insist on following him, and he hoped she would in insist and follow. She asked with hope glimmering in her eyes, "Couldn't you stay around here, near me?"
"Cindy, they're people I know, people I love. Even with the temporary loss of David and the sudden death of Major Tom, last night, I must go back home. They seem so unhappy, dead or alive."
Track ten: It's no Game(part II)
She lay atop her bed. She looked around her room tiredly to see silhouettes and shadows. She flipped on the Tv, but just to watch the revolution. She turns it off and throws the remote atop a chair. She picks up a Teen Magazine to see models buying more free steps to heaven. She knows beauty is just a walkie-talkie, but is it to heaven or hearth? She looks at the phone and her address book, but all those former friends are just big heads and drums, full speed and pagan. Well, she understood, now, it's no game.
She mumbles to herself, "I am barred from the event, and I really don't understand the situation in life. So where's the moral to my story? So what if people have their fingers broken. It still remains that to be insulted by these fascists is so degrading. Well, I guess it's no game."
She picks up some paper and a pen. She plans to write documentaries on refugees, and couples against the target. She walks outside and throws the rock upon the road and it breaks into pieces. She runs back inside and draws the blinds on yesterday, and it's all so much scarier. She picks up her daddy's gun to put a bullet in her brain just to see if it makes all the papers. She drops the gun, because she remembers that it's no game.
She realizes that children round the world put camel shit on the wall. They are either making carpets on treadmills or garbage sorting. The truth is that teenage love hurts, that loosing a great friend hurts, that crime brings punishment, that you have to escape reality for a while, that sometimes you have to go your own way, that sometimes you have to go out your way for others, that sometimes you have to fall in love, and all the time remembering, 'it's no game'.